yay kaya toast rocks.

Hope everyone enjoyed their toast! (even if its soggy/cold =P)

wheee finished my reaction paper today!

Quiz show got me thinking on the truth and realities of the things we see on TV. How much our lives have been affected by the dramas in the shows. Does my life have to end up like a soap opera? I refuse.. I want an ending that says happily ever after.

How hard do I have to fight for it?

hai...

Hell week gonna start next week for many people. All the best to everyone, we'll pull through all of this together. Lets keep each other in prayer!

Its always strange how we always end up building faith during the worst trials of our lives. It shouldn't be this way but it is. In anycase, in good times and in bad, we must never forget to thank God for everything.

No one said life was going to be a bed of roses. But lets look at it this way, without failure there wont be success, without bad there wont be good, without sadness there wont be joy. So even though we are all trudging through the deserts in our lives, lets remember that an oasis waits for us.

Lets also remember to be thankful for the many gifts that we have that so many other around the world don't. The fact that we have a roof over our heads, the fact that we have friends, the fact that we can afford to eat the fact that we can walk, talk breathe, smell, see hear. Not everyone has a chance of doing some of the things we take for granted.

Im not trying to make people feel bad here, but yeah, sometimes we get so caught up with our stuff, we forget God, we forget life, so this is just to remind everyone that there is so much to give thanks for.

Lets take a step back and say to Jesus, with no strings attached: "I Love You"

P.S. Flash paper is damn fun to play with, but its hella expensive...=(

Phew...

Feeling much better today...thank you everyone for the care and concern, some of the stuff is out of the way, not all but yeah everythings so much manageable now. Thank you all for the kind words and prayers.

Ok la...

Im at school now, realising that I cant do my paper as planned cause I need to watch a damn movie. Its due friday. I got class...then after that I need to make a move for JS tutorial to settle another project AND after that I need to go to church to practice for Easter..

I TOLD THEM that I couldnt make it. I told them that I would not be able to do it this year...why on earth do they not listen to me?? I S-P-E-C-F-I-C-A-L-L-Y told them no. sigh...its gonna screw up the paper........Dear God please guide me, I have no idea how its gonna go tomorrow.

I am honoured to be chosen to sing it. But I just cant do it this year.........

Then theres the other issue. Its literally tearing me apart...I mean ya I know, dont think too much about it. But I can't help thinking about it. And I can't help wonder if I should bother.

give me a sign God please.

Just felt like I had to say something...

Im just gonna blabber nonstop.

You know, its been many years. Too many years...is one supposed to be so patient? I guess we have to.... Im continually perplexed by some of our own Christian sayings..."Knock and the door will be opened, ask and you shall receive", how long do you knock? I think the knocker is wearing thin. My voice sometimes feels shut out...why does the door seem sound proof? The sun is scorching, I just need someone to open that door. Sometimes, it rumbles, I get a hint of hope....then the rumbling stops. Sometimes I see the door handle turn, but it never opens, it gets jammed and the door remains closed. Why won't it open??

Maybe I've scratched the door too much...some people tell me to rely on God, that he will provide. Yet..."God only helps those who help themselves" what am I to do? Sit here and passively wait? Am I supposed to be gung-ho? So many questions...so few answers...I need some answers. Its driving me crazy.

Sometimes it would be so much easier if life was an assessment book...that way when Im really stuck, I could just flip to the back page and peep at the answers. I don't need so many suprises in my life.

I think I can handle them. Can I really?

I honestly don't think I ask for that much. And yet I still have so much. I have so many superflous things. But what about the important things?

I need an ear. Yet I don't want to speak.

I want to listen. But sometimes I'm afraid of the truth.

I want to speak. But I shy away.

I want to be happy. But I want to be sad too.

I feel so..so..isolated sometimes. Arrgh. I tell people to feel the joy, appreciate the little things in life. Im starting to forget my own advice. Im turning hypocritical.

I fear because of the past. I fear because of the future.

What happens, if I threw away all that I do. What am I? Who am I? Bah. Who cares.
Would anyone?

too many questions.





too few answers.










too tired to think.

This theme song has been playing in my head for the longest time...
its so sad...

In cases such as these I'd like a hand
Don't wake me up without a master plan
With black & white instead of colour
Don't you understand?
When things that once were beautiful
Are bland

*chorus
And when I feel like I can feel once again
Let me stay awhile
Soak it in awhile
If we can hold on we can fix what is wrong
Buy a little time
For this head of me
Haven for us

In truth there is no better place to be
Than falling out of darkness still to see

Without a premonition
Could you tell me where we stand?
I'd hate to lose this light
Before we land

Chorus

Before we let euphoria
Convince us we are free
Remind us how we used to feel
Before when life was real

Chorus

who am I trying to kid? Please God, not again...

Phew! What a night, so much food goodness hahaha...

Firstly went to have a look at Eternal Dawn...pretty good...although like what some of the other said la, felt damn old over there...so many Sec 2s hahaha...

After that went to eat at thompson plaza...love that place...I kinda grew up there haha...eh Steph, u really should see the doctor leh, ur cough is crazy...

Went with Adeline and Albert to pick up Moses...wahaha almost made someone die of hyperventilation in the car hehehehehe....hmm I wonder if that lizard is still on my windscreen...I hope it didnt fry in the engine! ><

Went around Marina after that to grab some dessert and other food..and we retired with tired feet back to the car. What a day...it was so fun going out, going for mass going to eat...

The feeling is damn sian when you get home and realise you have projects due....ah well...

Thanks for the night out guys!

Thanks guys for coming for the prata on Friday, I had a great time! Hope you guys enjoyed yourselves too!

You know, have you ever wished you could tell people something but just couldnt. Because you were afraid...don't you wish people could SOMETIMES just read your mind? (If they could read all the time, it would be scary)

Sometimes I wish I could talk to God, I want to ask Him about so many things. Too many things.

Sometimes I wish I knew if people thought about me. What if I am but just a phantom? A shadow...you only notice it when its there.

Ok gotta stop thinking like this.

Ok today was a good day indeed, praise God!

A few setbacks early on...but finally managed to finish part of my essay....yay!
In anycase, yeah, big birthday wishes to Erwin man, hey thanks for all the good times man...(haha remember the old AOP days in VS? Asherons Call hahahaa..)

Watched the Doom movie too...haha loved the 5min FPS tribute. (gamers will understand this for those non gamers... uh dont bother haha)

Also addicted to the song Children by Robert miles, first heard it in one of Arnauds magic videos...dang that French guy is so talented...

Anyway...lots of people rushing their essays and projects now...Im no different either haha so lets all pray for each other ya? Its gonna be rough but we'll pull through.

Alright kinda tired out now, so thats it for today..good night guys!

I should be going to school now, but I decided to blog a bit.

Well, Lent I think has had quite a nasty start for me. Not to mention the tons of work thats coming up. Its like watching a dump truck full of papers back up into you, then after you've been rammed down, it unloads all the papers in your face. Then you're stuck underneath the ton of papers. (Hmm actually sounds rather comfortable...)

Yeah, still thinking, still wishing. Sometimes I feel im horrendously dense. Wouldnt it be nice if we could all read minds.

Munich.

Good show. Thanks too all who came! The show really left me thinking more about the value of life and family. How could someone even bear to shoot another living, breathing human being? How could someone murder? Imagine the reprecussions... you kill someone and it spreads, affecting his family, affecting his friends...a death creates ripples. It causes misery for everyone....I dont know exactly what I would do if I had to choose between killing someone or getting killed... perhaps I would rather die...

Other thoughts...hmm have been thinking of the song "somewhere out there"...especially the first verse...

Somewhere out there,
Beneath the pale blue night,
Someone's thinking of me,
And loving me tonight.
Somewhere out there,
Someone's saying a prayer,
Then we'll find one another,
In that big somewhere out there.

Sigh... would be nice to know if there actually was someone thinking of me ...haha oh well wistful thinking I guess...