You know its funny.

It doesnt really feel like the holidays at the moment, after FOC the days seem..like so empty. You THINK there is something to do when there really isnt. Ok but actually there are something that I do need to do but they aren't really that urgent.

It was also thanks to FOC that I seriously closed another avenue. I hope it was the right thing to do. Sometimes we can all be very foolish. But personally I think its for the best.

In anycase, went to Moses' place yesterday for board games. It was good...its been a while since we've all just gathered to just relax and chill and act brainless. Must have more of these. Wanted to join them for supper, but was feeling really tired. Don't know why I've been so tired lately. Well my sleep pattern is one...but I've done this before and I've never really been THIS tired.

Or maybe its because I take my worries to bed with me.

*shrugs*

I bet some of you think Im gonna post about FOC.

wrong.

ok just kidding.

I think I took back a few lessons this FOC...

1) Its good to be organised. Having a book to pen down random thoughts is always helpful. Unfortunately, as experience in FOC has shown, even the precious book itself can get lost.

2) The weather/rainbow miracle showed me Gods presence. It taught me to have faith, absolute and complete faith.

3) I have also taken back an answer in a way...

Yup, but overall, FOC was a very very interesting experience, I never really expected things to turn out the way they did.

Well...got alot more to write..but too tired to continue...so adios for now.

ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch

note to self: After many days of no exercise. DO NOT ATTEMPT Sexy Planet Challenge difficulty after you've done 4 other heavy songs. Feet are hurting like mad.

pain pain pain pain pain pain

Just watched hitch.

Really good show, its been a while since I watched something with this sort of uh 'perfect' happy ending. No one really lost anything in the end. There was no, 'all is well, but its a shame that he died/lost a limb/lost some object etc...'

I liked it :)

I guess in a way its a very optimistic show.

I like that too.

But then again its a movie. Its a fairytale ending. Real life isn't a fairy tale and it isn't a movie.

But I guess people can always hope...

But yeah its good to watch something so positive once in a while.

If only life wasn't so complicated haha...

Today I blog with a huge weight lifted off my chest.

I guess letting go is another important skill that we do need to learn. Sometimes letting go can be terribly painful. Sometimes its a simple, sometimes its complex. But I think its something we all need to do.

Perhaps it could be likened to the process of removing a defect from the body. The defect is there, it causes mild pain. But it needs to be removed, because it releases small toxins that will eventually cause the body to collapse and cease its function. In order to remove this defect, we will need to carve it out from our skin.

Of course, carving something out from your skin isnt the easiest thing to do, its gonna hurt. If its on the surface, then perhaps its nothing more than a pin prick. If the defect is deep rooted, it WILL hurt and it will hurt bad.

Yet in the end, you need to cut it out. Sure its alot easier to just leave the defect to fester, it hurts alot less and some of us think we can get used to it or that it would go away.

Some things just don't 'go away'.

So with enourmous will of mind, with bravery, with support, we need to learn to let go. Once you do, the wound will heal. It will heal fast. Then you'll realise why you ever bothered to hold on to it for so long.

At least thats how I feel.

I hope my decision was correct. God please guide me.

But yeah, Im feeling so much better now. At the same time, I've learnt another one of lifes valuable lessons.


I'd also like to thank my little sis for that talk we had last night. Yeah, its been a long while since we ever talked about anything serious. Im glad you made the first move, cause I don't think I would ever have the courage to.

I guess its a good step in the right direction :)

But ya, if you ever need to talk, your kor is here too hehe.

I conclude with this song from Corrine May..

Everything in its time

Sometimes i wonder what lies ahead
How long til my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
so many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and i try to pray
in the silence i can hear Him say

Chorus:
The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like that i'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
why i should give up
But i'm stubborn in the things i believe

*Chorus

'cause maybe there's another plan
One i still cant see
A little surprise, like your love in your life
Funny how time changes how we see

*Chorus