Its cliche to do these, but I guess its always imp...

Its cliche to do these, but I guess its always important to take stock of the year.



2006, two terms of schooling.



I think the year had really dragged on. As in, it really has seemed much longer than a year to me. Too many events have unfolded within this space. For some reason, just wanting to think about what has happened over the year makes me feel overwhelmed.



Let me see...



1) New Years Party

Yup, had alot of the CSS people come over that day, from all the different faculties. Yes there was drinking and yes, people were stoned in the end haha. Damn funny, I have so many *ahem* incriminating stories of people. Oddly enough, the next day, I ended up sitting next to Moses at Mass, AND I THOUGHT HE WAS YEAR 3, so ya, bro u look damn old la. (kidding kidding)



2) Knowing my fellow year 1s better.

Odd huh, the first half of the year I actually knew the year 3's and 2's better than the year 1's (the now year 2's actually) I think it was the timetable clashes la..being (at that point of time) the only CNM major and also because I didn't attend the FOC camp made the distance greater, so this year I would say yeah I really got to know my fellow year-mates alot better.



With that I must add that without alot of you guys, this year would have been unbearable. I think each and everyone out there has made a huge impact on me this year a big thank you. And I mean thank you for both the ups and downs, the troubles and the fun, the inspiration and the boredom. I loved it all.



3) CAW

Exhibition comm, I must say that I enjoyed the designing a lot. Befriending was interesting too, had to really pluck up the courage to approach people. And yes Im very shy.



4) Lent-Easter

That was crazy, limiting my gaming to 1 hour a day at the very most. I can't believe that I didnt play on some days even. One of the toughest lents i've had. Easter was something else though, we baked hot cross buns. To the group of you that came to my place to bake: IT WAS SUPER FUN but insanely tiring.



5) FOC

Who can forget this. The miracles, the fun, the laughter, FOC was amazing. A big thank you to my games comm, you guys are like the totally most like, radical group, like everrrrr. (excuse the language, thats how we communicate due to our lack of brain cells). I think FOC brought alot of us closer too. Despite how tiring it was, I enjoyed it.



6) Stepping up as CGL

Another milestone, I felt a call for it, never looked back since. A big thank you to Geraldine too for all the support. And of course my CG people too, for sharing all your experiences, support and everything!



7) Stepping up for Candle

Wow, I knew this was coming. Was a little hectic at first, but I'm really happy the way it turned out, stay tuned for the next issue!



8) The many retreats, DORs and what not.

I think the most significant retreat this year was the arts retreat. Not that the rest were bad, but there was some true deep sharing over there. At the same time, it was crazy for me too, perhaps to this day Im still afffected by the events at retreat. But yeah, it was really one to remember.



The Day of Recollection was fun, but the attendace a bit small =( but then again, it was lovely having everyone around. I like gatherings :P



CSS retreat perhaps set an important direction for me. At the same time, it probably closed an issue that had bugged me for a while. Well we still think back once in a while, but I guess its imporant not to let the pasthold us back.

9) Tioman

Ok this ones not in order, but I remembered that I forgot to mention it. Was a memorable trip despite the small number of people, and it taught me a very important lesson in life too. (Which will of course, forever remain secret to everyone out there)



10) Novena

Yeah thats right Novena - I had never gone to one before till this year, and boy am I glad. Its quite an experience I guess.



11) Greater trust in God

Something that money can't buy. I think God has never been more real this semester. A million blessings indeed. Just to share with you one, the visual comm module which I wanted to bid for was sorta like a mini-miracle. I missed the minimum bid by one point, at first it was below, then Joanne told me to up the bid, and boy am I glad I did.



to be continued...

to be continued...

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After Christmas events...



Well, its been super duper busy since Christmas day itself. I've never been so tired during Christmas, by the time the relatives left, I was ready to collapse (might have been due to eat after midnight mass...)



After that came the good ol' Christmas gathering at my place, very very fun indeed, was a little worried about the food at first, but hey, everything turned out well, there was enough for everyone and Im sure we all enjoyed the food despite the heavy rain. (Actually, there was a lot of chicken, thank goodness I like chicken.)



Had a gift exchange: I contributed a teddy bear with wings (which trebek ended up getting in the end..SHO..how do you like it eh treBEK) and I won a guide to Costa Del Sol haha (looks like we all know where to go for grad trip liao) affirmation-ish thanksgiving session after that, which was fun too, didnt get to write for everyone though cos I had to send people off first...oh well...and last but not least, cranium, and that really always is a blast..people left at about 1am...which was good enough for me, considering the lack of sleep I've had over the last few days.



Went to mortons the next day.......GAH I miss the steak sandwiches already....and night at the museum was interesting...actually I thought it was a pretty good show honestly - I think I wouldnt mind watching it again. On the outside it talks about cheesy things coming to life with stupid magic spells. But I got a little more out of the film I think.



Talked a lot about this idea of 'greatness'....perhaps a little about believing in one's self. How about that, can you look inside and find your greatness? Im trying. I guess.

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Its Christmas!



Firstly I'd like to wish everyone there a very happy and blessed Christmas. Lets always remember about the true spirit, its not about the gift giving, the mistletoe, the log cakes, the turkey, the ham, the material expectations, and sometimes its not even about forgetting your troubles.



I will paraphrase Father Clifford here: He talked about Christmas being panadol. It struck me alot.



He made us think about the nativity scene, the ones that we see nowadays in the churches and in towns are nice and all. But... what would childbirth in a manger really be like? Would Jesus have his diapers on? Would Mary be so peaceful, with makeup? Would Joesph just calmly sit in a corner?



Yes it brings joy doesn't it, the birth of a Messiah. But lets remember, that along with that joy comes the pains of childbirth... and this birth eventually will lead to the road to the cross. We can't expect Christmas to be a time when our troubles will dissipate, that miracles will happen, that suddenly the bad things will vanish.



No.



As much as we would like to, we should not. I'm guilty of it too. Every year, I used to hope that somehow, somewhere, the 'magic' of Christmas would come and touch my life, that everything would suddenly get better. I can tell you, it won't. Christmas isn't a magic panadol, a miracle cure.



I guess I need to learn to accept this hard fact too.



BUT that doesn't mean we should stop our celebrations. For Christmas brings something far better than a placebo cure. It brings hope. Hope of true healing. The journey will not be easy but it will be walkable.



So, if anyone out there carries a heavy heart, shoulders a heavy load, walks a troubled road this Christmas and thinks that you are alone, isolated and cold. Don't, its part of life, there are many others out there who can share this pain with you, you're not alone so be comforted. There is hope...hope in the future. Hope is amazing...



God give me grace. Walk with me.





So once again, I wish everyone out there a very beautiful and a very hopeful Christmas. Cheers.

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Its been quite the year indeed. Lots of things ha...

Its been quite the year indeed.



Lots of things have happened, many things have changed. I think at long last I have finally received closure over an issue that has bugged me for a long time. Perhaps the outcome was not as splendid as I thought but nonetheless I feel free again.



Lots of things have happened since the last blog post too. Biggest event I think is the Christmas bash/party/dinner gathering at the Pines. Once again this year, we gathered as a community to pray play and party haha...this year we had slightly more reflective elements in the dinner too, which was good, I was particularly touched by the group prayers. (Although I did have a balloon attached to my spectacles but I sorta hid it - would have spoiled the mood I think if I read it with the balloon floating all over...although it WAS funny. Our initial prayer was hilarious too "And thank you for the green ondeh ondeh. Haha.").



Went to watch the Nativity story too, very good movie despite ALL of us knowing exactly what would happen. It just so happened too, that the readings for this week were quite focused on Mary too. I think the movie really did help flesh out the Holy Family and it showed that it really was not easy being the Mother of God. Joesph was also very inspiring - I think we guys have a lot to live up to...that man set the bar realllllllly high haha....jialat...



Well heres hoping to a good 2007 ahead...hopefully more dreams and wishes will come true.

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Ok Im testing something interesting here, somethin...

Ok Im testing something interesting here, something which other firefox users might wanna try....



Its a program called performancing, and what it lets you do is to basically allow the user to edit his/her blog without ever having to log into blogger itself, it opens as a window in your firefox browser...



those of you who are having trouble let me know..its good stuff...

Its been quite the year indeed. Lots of things ha...

Its been quite the year indeed.



Lots of things have happened, many things have changed. I think at long last I have finally received closure over an issue that has bugged me for a long time. Perhaps the outcome was not as splendid as I thought but nonetheless I feel free again.



Lots of things have happened since the last blog post too. Biggest event I think is the Christmas bash/party/dinner gathering at the Pines. Once again this year, we gathered as a community to pray play and party haha...this year we had slightly more reflective elements in the dinner too, which was good, I was particularly touched by the group prayers. (Although I did have a balloon attached to my spectacles but I sorta hid it - would have spoiled the mood I think if I read it with the balloon floating all over...although it WAS funny. Our initial prayer was hilarious too "And thank you for the green ondeh ondeh. Haha.").



Went to watch the Nativity story too, very good movie despite ALL of us knowing exactly what would happen. It just so happened too, that the readings for this week were quite focused on Mary too. I think the movie really did help flesh out the Holy Family and it showed that it really was not easy being the Mother of God. Joesph was also very inspiring - I think we guys have a lot to live up to...that man set the bar realllllllly high haha....jialat...



Well heres hoping to a good 2007 ahead...hopefully more dreams and wishes will come true.

Amazing... the week of guided prayer has been simply amazing...

Im gonna briefly outline things...

1) Sense of elation, God told me to "go for it!" and that He has promised a beautiful life ahead, He told me to bury my worries past and insecurities. Also an overwhelming sense of peace hit me.

2) I prayed for wisdom. God told me to persevere, to knock and ASK

3) God told me to look fowards, not to turn back

At this point of time, I had been thinking, that God was telling me all of these with relation to some external problems, issues that have been bothering me during the semester and such. But this one really changed things...

4) The passage was about Samuel and Eli. To ME it seemed like Samuel heard the voice but responded to the wrong person. In the same way, I may have been hearing Gods voice, but have been applying it wrongly.

5) He told me to trust in Him and that like a potter working on clay, he will reshape me to be a better person everytime I fall.

This had basically sealed it, of course Im not telling everything but you can roughly get the idea. This meant that all this while, those messages were for ME, to change myself. To heal some of my own wounds before I go tackle the problems outside.... amazing....

Today I did my own meditations for the first time, and the idea of perseverance, to "Wait for God" to do his wonders came up...

So yup that sums up this entire week on a spiritual sense...I think I will post up some yummy photos tomorrow hehehe...

I hope I am reading Gods messages to me correctly.

Otherwise I will be hurting real bad. Maybe sooner than I thought.

My week of guided prayer begins.

Its been beautiful, haha and its only been one day.

Let me share with you a little more about it: in essence its a retreat during working life. You basically spend an hour a day with God. Half an hour on your own, half an hour with the prayer guide.

We are given two main methods to pray, one is the Ignatian method (I hope I spelt that right.) which makes use of the imagination. The second is Lexio Divina (sacred readings.).

After that a passage from the bible is given each day and we meditate on it.

And so far I must say, its given me a peace. The retreat is supposed to help us listen to God. Like in the book of Kings, God appeared to Elijah as a gentle whisper. Likewise its the same for us, we can't ask God to shout, we need to be still and listen.

One word hit me very hard when I was meditating on the first days passage. A simple phrase that said "Come and you will see".

And in a way, it was telling me to trust God. We always ask God to look after us but we are not open enough or perhaps too scared to stretch out our hand, let him take it, and bring us along.

As if to reassure me, God sent this wave of peace. Its not a tingly feeling or anything, just this strange peace...man I have not had that kind of peace in a long time.

And its not one of those self induced things too, it came at a very unexpected time. As in, it just hit me in the midst of my dialog with God. And when it hit I kinda paused. Haha...yup..God is good.

Its really great to be touched like that, and alot of my burdens seemed so much lighter after that, Im still kinda amazed....don't know how to express haha....

Amen. Alleluia.

Thank you for guiding me through the exams God.

Thank you everyone for the prayers.

Finally over :)

Ok. You know what, its like 2 hours before my paper and Im typing this.

But really who cares?

I think life has taught me that all the hoping, positive thinking, self delusion, and what not in the world won't hold firm in the face of truth.

The circle feels like its going to be completed again. Damn it. I hope that it wont...but from the way things are going... it just might.

Maybe God has other plans. Sometimes I scorn myself for being too positive about things.

No. Should I risk? No. Yes. argh.

I think I can't win, but I insist on playing the game anyway. Stupid me.

Hai...I don't know. I really don't.

God please heal me now, even if it is temporary, just from 1 to 3...

In other news, last paper today yay. Oh wait I said that already.