Its been a long time since I was this sick.

Barely enough strength to walk up the stairs. And last nights sleep was damn terrible...I think I slept at 8pm and woke up at 2am this morning...then after that it was tossing and turning non stop till 5am..argh.

I couldnt do ANY work yesterday, couldnt concentrate on a single damn thing. Dammit la. Don't think I can get my projects done on time at this rate. I hate being sick. On the other hand, because of my illness I have not really let myself go online and I have been focusing on other stuff. In a way its a good step back from life.

Suddenly everything doesnt feel THAT important anymore.

Ugh, I really hope I get well before the DOR tomorrow.

You know sometimes...


nevermind



no one knows anyway haha...

1st day of SVDP 9 day novena.

Theme: Change, try scripture.

Monseigoir Lau (I think I spelt it wrong, someone please correct me) gave a super solid sermon today...but I took home one interesting analogy...

He said Aladdins lamp was kinda old but it had a genie inside. The genie granted him anything he wanted. The problem is one day, Aladdin met a lamp seller, who took in old lamps and would exchange for shiny new ones. So Aladdin did just that, only to find that there was no genie inside his shiny lamp.

How foolish are us humans, who would trade in eternal life for a moment of happiness in sin...

Yup...how true...

Tori no Uta translation

We watched the fading vapor trails
They were so dazzling, I ran away- I was always weak
I let go, frustrated by the fact
That I couldn't stay unchanged since that day
Couldn't stay unchanged forever

That bird still can't fly well
But someday she will know the feeling of cutting through the wind
The place she can't reach is still there in the distance
She gazes at it, keeping her wish to herself

kodomotachi wa natsu no senro aruku
fuku kaze ni suashi wo sarashite
tooku ni wa osanakatta hibi wo
ryoute ni wa tobidatsu kibou wo
Children walk along the summer railway tracks
Exposing their bare feet to the blowing wind
We place in the distance the days of our childhood
We place in our hands hope that springs forth

Chasing, chasing the fading vapor trails
It hasn't changed since the day we crossed that hill, and never will
So that we will always have it,
We'll guard the strength of a sea god, surely

The blades of the windmill that turn in the sky
Always have the same dream
The dream of a bird, her wish kept to herself,
Gazing at the place she can't reach

I look back: the sun-baked railway tracks are hidden
By stormclouds- even if they change their shape,
May we always remember
The yesterdays left behind by the seasons...

Chasing, chasing the fading vapor trails
The signal is given too early- we start laughing
So that we can always look straight ahead,
Even if it's slippery with sweat, I won't let go of your hand, ever

We watched the fading vapor trails
They were so dazzling, I ran away- I was always weak
I let go, frustrated by the fact
That I couldn't stay unchanged since that day
Couldn't stay unchanged forever

I just watched the movie and anime for Air...
One of the most touching shows I have ever watched. But its strange isnt it, how the most touching of shows happens when love is unattainable. Or rather how love was cruelly taken away by fate. How terrible it must have been to have it all torn away from you leaving a wound that can never be healed.

It is beautiful I guess, how one would endure all pains for the heart. For someone.

Yeah.


I dont know what else to say.

Attended the Law IV musical on Sunday with Moses Adeline Steph Marilyn and Matt, I must say it was very very fun to watch haha, especially the cleaning aunty...

Well after that went down to Bugis with Moses to grab a bite and hopefully visit the magic shop for supplies. Guess what? the shop was closed! arrgh

But we did however manage to eat at this place called Terra, which in all honesty was quite worth the money. I think more importantly, both of us had a good chat...

In a way things have clarified. And with respect to that I am also trying to eat/drink healthy.

The only thing is...there are still some parts where Im still a little confused or afraid to step into. God please help me discern...

After some reflection, and some talking with Fr Val...

I realised that there is something lacking. And thats the root of alot of problems.

Sigh. Just need to find out what exactly it is.

I think I know. But maybe I dont....oh well.. I'll leave it to God.

somtimes I wonder...

nah. not good to wonder so much.


In anycase apologies last night to anyone I was chatting to, my internet screwed up. Woke up this morning and realised it was the wireless router causing problems again..so..no more wireless in my house for the third time in a year I think.

Although honestly I find the cables to be much more reliable.

well..back to daydreaming about impossibilities...