I understand something...and I must write these before I lose the thoughts.

The many happenings of yesterday were something like a sort of journey. Perhaps a mild form of testing. For it was only yesterday that I felt a *little* kind of void...it was as if God was not there. Of course we all know that God is with us. But it was an overwhelming feeling of rejection yesterday.

(And I apologise to those of you who were at the receiving end of my complaints. I also apologise to my dear sister, who tried to cheer me up but failed haha...)

Firstly, my sis left me a very nice little card, thank you once again.

Next I tried to go for the 11am service and even though I was about 20 minutes early, there was NO place to park. Which was quite amazing. I was thinking to myself arrgh not again and promptly drove home.

Lunch was great and tasty.

Then I came for Mass...real early... 45min early to be precise. And lo and behold, Fr. Marsling (spelling??) was there early too! After confession he told me, "You know I think I was here early for a reason, and it was to meet you" (or something to that extent, you get the idea.)

And I thought so too...I seldom see him around so early it couldnt have been mere conincidence. And I spent some period of time in the adoration room too and I felt very very much better...I guess its time to (as cliche as it sounds) "Let go and Let God."

And so I will.

There are just some things that cant be accomplished by human strength alone. I realised that this applied to many many facets of life...I guess the hard part is remembering to leave things to God.

Also...some very interesting points brought up in the sermon too. It was about belief. Fr. was saying that many people today believe in one thing and act in another way. And he compared it to St. Thomas, who was transparent, and honest. When he did not believe, he really did not believe and when he saw, he gave one of the greatest acts of faith he said "My Lord and My God" how beautiful is that. Not only that, he also acted on his belief and went out to spread the good news.

So, I guess we must always bear in mind our beliefs and how we act, even in times of stress, in times of joy and in times of sadness.

I also want to thank those who expressed their concern in one way or another. Although it looks as if it doesnt work on me, it does haha...

I guess it would be good to conclude this with the prayer of serenity..

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Amen. :)